You Matter

The Soundtrack of My…OHHHHH—Butterfly!

Suzie Bichovsky-Thomas • Sep 14, 2014
The breeze and its crescendo. Birds chirping, one group squawking with insistence. Wind chimes from a distance. The hum of an outdoor unit. A butterfly flitting in my face, blessing me after a sneeze. A lawnmower.
I’m wrapping up the reading of I Will Not Die an Unlived Life by Dawna Markova and am waiting for my epiphany. Normally a reader with a “must finish this book in one sitting” appetite, I read this one at a recommended two chapters per month. With each reading, I’ve had a realization. A brief Aha-Oprah Winfrey -brick-in-the-forehead wake up moment. Hmmm…not yet.
I’ve followed a routine with each reading, no matter the weather. Coffee, check. Outside, check. Comfy clothes, check. Embracing the sounds of nature? Check. Sitting on a swing, face in the sun, mind clear? Check, check, wait…
The voices of neighbors streets away and slamming car doors. Don’t they know? Did they not receive the Universal memo? Don’t mess with my Soundtrack! Suzie is reading and waiting for an epiphany. OK. That’s stopped.
Lawnmower. Birds. (Wait…aren’t those the nighttime sounds?) Airplane. (Where are they going?) Birds are getting louder. ( The Birds ! Such an awesome movie.) The breeze has lost its oomph. (I’m hot. Sweating.) A leaf or something with weight rustles by and I jerk my head to track it. (Definitely shouldn’t have watched that Doctor Who episode before trying to concentrate. Swinging with my legs up- nothing’s grabbing my feet!) Hello, butterfly! (Welcome back! You’ve brought a friend. You are awfully close to my head. No, really, get away from my face.) Something is making a cicada-like noise. Cicadas? (Lawnmower has stopped. Now I can think! My to-do list clutters my mind. All I want to do is crawl onto the couch and pull a blanket over my head.)
There it is. The external noises aren’t the issue. My internal soundtrack is. Perhaps today isn’t a brick-in-the-head epiphany day. Perhaps, to quote someone from yesterday’s discussion group, it’s a grain-of-sand-on-the-forehead day.
Markova writes, “…we know that anything capable of decay is also possible of renewal and regeneration.” This must include my concentration. As a neighbor starts up a chainsaw, I’ll give myself permission to pack it in for the day. Attack two things on the to-do list. (Yes- just two.) Go watch something on TV.
Maybe I’ll just watch something and skip the list today. I’m inspired to watch a horror movie for some reason…I’m sure I’ll have nightmares about uncompleted tasks and a wild wag of the Tsking pointer finger. I’ll patiently wait for the butterflies to launch their attack and transform judgement into beautiful acceptance.
Or, maybe one of the butterflies will use a chainsaw to get the job done! (That’s a movie…The Butterflies. Tagline: Metamorphosis, one appendage at a time.)

OK…I’ll do one thing on the to-do list.


Sunflower

Be a Sunflower

By Suzie Bichovsky • 10 Jul, 2023
There’s something about being outside surrounded or embraced by nature. What’s a nature element that really speaks to you? It could be the moment you notice the dark green of a treetop touching the vibrant blue of the sky.

But Why Do You Post On Fridays?

By Suzie Bichovsky-Thomas • 23 Jul, 2021
I’m awful at business growth, meaning- I don’t post when algorithms say I should. I don’t “buy” likes or followers or traffic to my site. I post all things related to burnout prevention on Fridays which used to be one of the worst days to do so.
Ocean

Path of Origin

By Suzie Bichovsky-Thomas • 07 Jul, 2020
I got a phone call on Wednesday night with a funeral date for a family member that passed in March.  During that conversation, we once again explored the path of origin. The surviving spouse got it from work (the area was an epicenter of contagion before we all knew what’s going on). The workplace was a school. It spread like wildfire (again, before anyone knew what it was).
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